“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.” – Bridget Jones’s Diary

“A man being rich is like a girl being pretty. You wouldn’t marry a girl just because she’s pretty, but my goodness, doesn’t it help?” – Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

“If you look people in the eye, they won’t notice what you’re wearing.” – The Wedding Date

“Depravity can be terribly boring if you don’t smoke or drink.” – Paris When It Sizzles

“Cute is dangerous. Cute leads to feeling, which leads to screwing, which leads to screwed.” – Heartbreakers

“E-mail is for geeks and pedophiles” – Cruel Intentions

“Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.” – Working Girl

“God wouldn’t have given you maracas if He didn’t want you to shake ‘em” – Dirty Dancing

I’m spending my Saturday watching cooking shows on TV. Considering how infrequently I actually cook, it’s surprising how much I love watching James Martin creating a coronary in a pan, and also how many recipe books I own. Tonight, inspired by his disgusting looking thai crab risotto (it was all good until the two huge handfuls of parmesan cheese went in with the chilli and lemongrass…) I will be cooking. Gemma’s paella for one, followed by a sober Saturday Night With John Barrowman, the BBC’s latest unannounced initiative (seriously, The Kids Are Alright, Doctor Who and I’d Do Anything all follow each other. All we need now is for him to present the lottery).

I should really be at the gym. I finally gave in and joined online last week, but I’ve yet to even get as far as going in and picking up my membership pack, as my ‘home’ branch is closed on weekends. Good excuse, eh?