Dear people who organise the Isle of Wight Festival and Hard Rock Calling…

Hi! I’m coming to your festivals! Isn’t that wonderful?!

Apparently, I’m what the world of web 2.0 calls a ‘tastemaker’. This is because I’m an ‘early adopter’ with a ‘cult following’. The site I created (not this one, obviously) gets a few hundred thousand unique visitors a month. And by ‘a few hundred thousand’ I actually mean ‘half a million’. Imagine that!

Anyway, I’m quite influential because of that, so if either of you would like to organise it so I can come and drink free booze in your VIP sections, that would be just lovely.

And also, Hyde Park Calling person, I would also really like to meet Jason Mraz. And John Mayer. I’m sure you can sort that out, right?

lots of love, Gemma

NB. Joke, obviously. Though I am going to the festivals and, well, um…yeah.